Meanderings of a Monkey Juggler

[Note to my folks: There's some swearing in this one, sorry]

This is an "affectionate" look at the lairy bigots that come to the fore whenever Eng-ger-land play any damn sport but they seem to be more attracted (like flies to shit) to the football.

Me and K had a lovely quiet meal yesterday.  We went to a very nice Chinese place at 5pm.  Not very coincidentally this was the exact kick off time for Eng-ger-land's last match (against the marvellous Trinidad and Tobago).  I picked the time so town would be quiet for the duration and we'd be out before Eng-ger-land either lost (prompting dickheads to be violent) or won (prompting dickheads to be drunk, lairy and uninhibited thus eventually leading to more violence).

Worked a treat.  We had a lovely time only interrupted by an asian bloke being unaware that he was in a restaurant and not his office.  Switch your bloody phone OFF.

K then had to go for a meeting and I headed up to the park for some juggling.  The park was empty save for Philip juggling.  Jon turned up shortly afterwards.  It was about then that the match finished.  So the traffic level went from trickle to flood.  The pedestrian traffic quadrupled and then we had the detritus from the local pubs.

First off was a pissed fan wearing a flouro vest.  He was grinning inanely and shouting about how great his country was.  Yeah right.  If he was the model then somehow I doubt we'd be quite so successful.  Next was a lovely little group of chavettes who were singing a complex little song, the entire lyrics of which can be seen in this post's title.  I have news for them; the word "England" has only 2 syllables.  This would likely be a shock to them. And by crikey can they squeal?  One of the many reasons I can't stand drunk and lairy brit-girls.

And that's what really gets my goat.  The pond-scum that take this bloody game most to heart are the sort of dregs that wouldn't be out of place in a filthy chav convention's line up of the top chavs of the year.  They have no redeeming features save keeping the breweries in business but that's offset by the "keeping the dealers in business" that they also do.  For instance my next-door neighbour (the biggest criminal waste of DNA in the neighbourhood) has absolutely nothing to offer this country.  Worse than that she is a drain on it; completely.  She now has a big Eng-ger-land flag in her front window.  If she's the poster girl then I'm emigrating (oh I am anyway).  That's why I don't like the flying of the flag and people expressing patriotism.  It's the scum of the earth that proclaim their allegiance the loudest.  I do NOT want to be associated with these people.  If my country was stuffed full of bright people with goodness in their hearts and joy in their song then I'd be proud, hell I'd be proud.  But what we have are junkies, dealers, petty criminals, racist bigots, jumped-up little shits who believe the world owes them everything and then an occasional nice person whose presence lights up my little bit of world.  I'm proud of and extremely grateful to them and them only.  The rest of the population can quite happily be eugenicised out of existence and I wouldn't shed the slightest tear.  Who will perform this miracle for us?  Save me from mediocrity and cynicism!

Have fun.