Meanderings of a Monkey Juggler

I'm in a really snappy mood today and I reckon it's entirely down to the patients I'm seeing today. 

Almost without exception they're whingy, whiny types who feel the world owes them everything 'cos they've got some pain.

Almost without exception they've been humourless drones with no sense of levity.  It's one of the redeeming features of even the chavviest Brit that there is humour in adversity.  Today I've had people looking like the world has ended and all because their foot aches a bit (after 2 hours standing at the tills yesterday) or their back hurts because they're stressed (and so am I now you've come to see me). Oh shut up!  I don't like the phrase "get a life" but please get a life.  These people seem to think that life is perfect and the slightest thing means the end of all that is good and holy. 

Without exception I've been short with them at best.  I must get a grip on it or I'll get disciplined if this carries on.

Have fun.

[edit]

I've just had a lovely patient but she told me a story that seriously hacks me off.  She was in a car crash and had a basic whiplash issue.  I assessed her but instead of the standard muscular problems she has a top rib problem.  A bit unusual but was probably pre-existing and hadn't given her trouble pre-RTA.  I checked all the usual suspects as well and concluded that it's definitely the top rib.  Apart from anything the thing gives her exact pain when you poke it; usually a good sign of accurate diagnosis.  So she goes to see a doctor after being asked by her solicitors.  "What? The physio thinks it's top rib?  Idiot.  It's your neck" says the doc.  So the poor patient doesn't know what to think.  One clearly says it's "this"; the other fundamentally disagrees.  I'm the one less likely to be believed 'cos I'm no doctor.  But I do know about necks and shoulders and ribs.  Luckily for me (and her) the patient believes me as I actually did an assessment of the problem rather than a terse attempt at convincing the patient that what I say is right without bothering to look properly. [growl]

Sometimes.

It's Sunday morning and 2 young scamps have just knocked on my door very loudly (hopefully not waking K who's just back from working overnight [edit - oh they have]).  This happens a lot round here and I usually ignore such events.  However they knocked again leading me to think that they'd lost a ball over my wall or some such.  I answer the door to these 2 young'uns and they blurt out "Do you know anyone who wants their car washing?"  This is unusual.  Firstly as I don't have a car at present and second for the act of kindness these children wish to impart.  It's also odd because there is a professional car cleaning outfit about 10m away from my house.  But these kids then don't want to believe that the car parked outside my house is not mine (it really isn't) and threatened me with giving the car a good kicking.  Oh they've gone and spoiled the image.  Still, no skin off my nose if they damage the car.  I think my stating "Go on then, it doesn't bother me, it's not mine, I've already told you" sort of called their bluff.  [edit - the car remains undamaged as far as I can see - false bravado in chav children?  Who would of thought it?]

I've also been struggling with my neighbour's kids.  They've recently taken to clambering onto my bin to get on the roof have my outhouse.  I'm not very fussed about this as they're not likely to cause any damage but it's really not a safe place to be; or more precisely it's not a safe way to get there.  I've told them not to a couple of times but I might even have to tell their mum if I catch them again.  How old do I sound?

Have fun.

Sometimes.

Good:  A friend I made on my "learn to teach English to foreigners" course was originally from Hong Kong and when she finished the course she disappeared back there to teach.  I hadn't heard from her for ages and then out of the blue she goes and phones me up yesterday.  Cue big smile on my face.

Bad: Me for not keeping in touch with people.  I need to make some long phone calls.

Good: My brother and his son Spike.  Bro phoned me a couple of days ago and handed the phone to young Spike.  Cue my longest conversation to date with the young un.  Looking forward to meeting them again soon.

Bad: A patient who has one of those "I'm a smug arrogant git" faces.  She comes in and says "My husband has to come with me".  I reply with "There's not a lot of room."  She says ""But he's disabled and needs to have an eye kept on him".  "But there's more chance of that in the waiting room where there are more people as we'll be in a tiny cubicle and he'll have to sit outside it whilst we get on with the business in hand."  She grumps and accedes to that view (to me).  Anyway I then get called in by my Senior who has been informed by the receptionist that the lady was very upset and was told "In no way would my husband be allowed in as there's no room" and she wanted to make sure that someone could properly watch him; not an official job for a receptionist (What's wrong with him so that he needs 24 hour observation anyway?).  I get bollocked for upsetting the patient and receptionist.  That's not what I said!  The bloody man can come and sit there on his own in a corner with no-one watching over him for all I care but I thought he'd get more care by being somewhere with more pairs of eyes around.  Apparently not.

Sigh.

Have fun.

PS Anyone around for larks and frolics this evening? (Friday)