Meanderings of a Monkey Juggler

I was bored last night so I started watching the football.  As it happens I saw it from about half way through and when I switched on the telly they were slow-mo repeating Michael Owen's injury.  The team were all very concerned and hoping he'd be back by the later rounds of the tournament.  Anyway even this morning the BBC website has the headline "Owen could miss rest of cup".  [edit: they've now changed it to : World Cup over for injured Owen ]  Ahh the joys of not knowing much.

Sorry guys but he doesn't really need a scan.  It's pretty clear from looking at the injury as it happens that he's ruptured his anterior cruciate ligament [edit: bing! Point to me!], almost certainly ruptured his medial collateral ligament and probably wrecked his medial meniscus (poetically known as "the unhappy triad of O'Donaghue").  This injury will put him out for months.  After surgery he'll probably need another 4-5 months rehab and even then he'll probably not be back to the same level that he's been at through his career so far.  I think we just saw the end of a top-flight career.  Poor sod.

Still we can always hope eh?

Perhaps he should have warmed up more.

Have fun.

[Note to my folks: There's some swearing in this one, sorry]

This is an "affectionate" look at the lairy bigots that come to the fore whenever Eng-ger-land play any damn sport but they seem to be more attracted (like flies to shit) to the football.

Me and K had a lovely quiet meal yesterday.  We went to a very nice Chinese place at 5pm.  Not very coincidentally this was the exact kick off time for Eng-ger-land's last match (against the marvellous Trinidad and Tobago).  I picked the time so town would be quiet for the duration and we'd be out before Eng-ger-land either lost (prompting dickheads to be violent) or won (prompting dickheads to be drunk, lairy and uninhibited thus eventually leading to more violence).

Worked a treat.  We had a lovely time only interrupted by an asian bloke being unaware that he was in a restaurant and not his office.  Switch your bloody phone OFF.

K then had to go for a meeting and I headed up to the park for some juggling.  The park was empty save for Philip juggling.  Jon turned up shortly afterwards.  It was about then that the match finished.  So the traffic level went from trickle to flood.  The pedestrian traffic quadrupled and then we had the detritus from the local pubs.

First off was a pissed fan wearing a flouro vest.  He was grinning inanely and shouting about how great his country was.  Yeah right.  If he was the model then somehow I doubt we'd be quite so successful.  Next was a lovely little group of chavettes who were singing a complex little song, the entire lyrics of which can be seen in this post's title.  I have news for them; the word "England" has only 2 syllables.  This would likely be a shock to them. And by crikey can they squeal?  One of the many reasons I can't stand drunk and lairy brit-girls.

And that's what really gets my goat.  The pond-scum that take this bloody game most to heart are the sort of dregs that wouldn't be out of place in a filthy chav convention's line up of the top chavs of the year.  They have no redeeming features save keeping the breweries in business but that's offset by the "keeping the dealers in business" that they also do.  For instance my next-door neighbour (the biggest criminal waste of DNA in the neighbourhood) has absolutely nothing to offer this country.  Worse than that she is a drain on it; completely.  She now has a big Eng-ger-land flag in her front window.  If she's the poster girl then I'm emigrating (oh I am anyway).  That's why I don't like the flying of the flag and people expressing patriotism.  It's the scum of the earth that proclaim their allegiance the loudest.  I do NOT want to be associated with these people.  If my country was stuffed full of bright people with goodness in their hearts and joy in their song then I'd be proud, hell I'd be proud.  But what we have are junkies, dealers, petty criminals, racist bigots, jumped-up little shits who believe the world owes them everything and then an occasional nice person whose presence lights up my little bit of world.  I'm proud of and extremely grateful to them and them only.  The rest of the population can quite happily be eugenicised out of existence and I wouldn't shed the slightest tear.  Who will perform this miracle for us?  Save me from mediocrity and cynicism!

Have fun.

I've just been watching the Winter Olympics opening ceremony and what a bizarre event it's been.

The sliding cows were a highlight along with their dancers in cow outfits.  I was watching in Bulgarian so I don't know what was going on.

The other highlight was seeing the Kenyan "team".  One bloke carrying the flag was it, oh and a fat bloke walking behind waving.  Hope the fat bloke is an ice dancer.

I love winter sports and this should be a good event.

Have fun.

PS Have 'tinterweb back and they've upgraded me to 2MB for the same monthly price. Get in!

I'm listening to the radio as the England team make their way to Trafalgar Square for the celebrations of beating the best teamin the world for the last 15 years.  Besides it being somewhat OTT there has been one thing that has stood out above everything else.

Freddie Flintoff is off his face.

Absolutely off his face. 

He's just been interviewed whilst on the bus and struggled to put a coherent sentence together.  The presenters on 5 live were giggling throughout.  Excellent radio.

Have fun.

Now this is special.  You'll not get me writing too much about sport.

England just won the cricket!  How mad is that?

Admittedly after 3.5 days of playing they won by a rather measly 2 runs but the tension towards the end was as near to exhilarating as sport can get.  It's also a damned impressive demonstration of just why people get so into their sport.

Good show lads!

Have fun.